My latest audiobook: listen to the sounds of a man spending two months in a tent on a glacier

Over the last few years, I’ve been gradually recording my remaining diaries and releasing them as audiobooks. I’m delighted to say that my latest effort, Thieves, Liars and Mountaineers, will soon be available as an audiobook via all the main channels, including Amazon, Audible, iTunes and Spotify. This is the fifth audiobook that I’ve narrated and produced myself and I’m happy to say that the quality is improving every time.

It’s hard to imagine spending two months in a tent on a glacier, but 16 years ago I did just that. My very first 8,000m peak expedition was to the Pakistan Karakoram; not to attempt K2 – that would be silly – but two of Pakistan’s easier 8,000ers, Gasherbrum I (8,068m) and Gasherbrum II (8,035m).

The expedition was an eye-opener for me in more ways than I care to remember. Unlike Nepal, whose highest mountains are all in easy distance of a village with a teahouse, Pakistan’s 8,000m peaks are exceedingly remote. We trekked for days up the Baltoro Glacier alongside other expedition teams. Accompanying us (or so it seemed) were enough porters to fill the Royal Albert Hall.

I climbed with a well-supported commercial expedition team, Altitude Junkies. We had an experienced expedition leader, a strong team of Sherpas, and ample supplies, including rope to fix the route. As a trekker who was learning to be a mountaineer, it didn’t occur to me to travel any other way. I soon discovered that most people prefer to climb more cheaply. The majority of those on the mountain were so-called ‘independent’ climbers, who purchased base camp services from an expedition operator, but had to provide their own logistics higher up the mountain. These climbers relied heavily on larger teams like ourselves, climbing when we climbed, and retreating when we did likewise.

I discovered that 8,000m peak expeditions involve a lot of waiting around, punctuated by short bursts of activity. These short bursts often involved high drama.

I soon realised that I didn’t mind waiting around. The easy pace of expedition life was a refreshing change from the mayhem of everyday living, with few cares but the latest weather forecast. Patience comes naturally in that environment. I was quite happy relaxing in my tent, reading books, or playing increasingly aggressive card games in the dining tent, in between our numerous forays up the South Gasherbrum Icefall and sometimes higher. I tried to make sense of the base camp gossip, and all the while I recorded my thoughts and experiences in my diary.

I published Thieves, Liars and Mountaineers as an ebook and paperback a few years ago. Since moving from London to the Cotswolds in 2019, I’ve been taking advantage of the peace, quiet and absence of traffic. I’ve created a recording studio at the back of the house, where I’ve been learning the art of audiobook production and narration.

I’m getting the hang of it, with one notable exception. They say that dialogue makes a book engaging. This is as true for a diary as it is for a novel. It’s not always a good thing for an audiobook though, where it’s necessary to narrate in different voices to distinguish one character from another. Generally, my British accents are OK. But there is one scene in Thieves, Liars and Mountaineers involving a team of Iranians, two Frenchman, a Canadian, a Pole and two Portuguese. If this sounds to you like the opening of an elaborate joke then you wouldn’t be far wrong. The accents will certainly amuse you.

So why not, strap on your headphones (and your climbing harness if you feel you need it), and listen to the myriad voices of Thieves, Liars and Mountaineers, set to the peaceful backdrop of a man reading his book in a tent.

And of course, if you prefer reading to listening, the paperback and ebook versions are also available. Click the big green button to find out more.